3 weeks

These days Liam's biggest struggle is pooping. He grunts all day long and poops all day long.

We went to the pediatrician yesterday Liam is 5lbs and 18.5inches. He gained 1 pound in a week and he is 1.5 inches longer. So we don't have to go back to the pediatrician any more. One less doctor appointment makes me really happy. I am getting a little tired of doctors and appointments. This 5lbs mark has made it legal for Liam to ride in his car seat. I couldn't be happier I am very tired of being stuck at home with all this nice weather. I know I have to keep him away from all the action but at least I can get out a bit without another adult to supervise him in the car seat. 

Today I picked up a new/used stroller off craigslist. I am so happy with it! It is the same as my old one a bebecar and it was only $50. I love deals. 

I think my blood pressure is going down. Which is the best news ever that means it was preeclampsia and not my own hypertension (which would mean I need to take drugs forever) I am still not sure because I am using Scott's parents machine and it might not be accurate. I haven't seen numbers in the 120's and 70's for awhile. I will go to the doctor soon and have them check to make sure. 

Now I must go feed the littlest hastings some super creamo.

2 Weeks

Today Liam is 2 weeks new. Wow where did the time go. I guess because he was born early I don't feel like he is really 2 weeks new. He is still negative 4 weeks. hmmmmm This should make for an interesting 1 year. 

Liam seems to be waking up a bit he will have at least 2  5 minute sessions of alert time a day. This is a big change from sleeping 24 hrs except for during diaper changes and the 10 min feed every 3 hrs. He is starting to feel like a real baby to me.

Last night was much better than the two nights before. The two nights before he was waking up every 2 hrs this was only giving me 1.5 hrs of sleep at a time. I was traumatized and not sure how I was going to do it once Glenda left. But last night I did it I brought him into our bed and he slept so much better. I think I got a 4 hr stretch which has made my day so much better. I hope tonight goes as well because Glenda is going home tonight.

Sorry if this post seems a little disjointed I am still working on less sleep and time than before.

4 lbs 2 oz

Today was a great day! The midwife came and weighed Liam he gained 162 grams which is about 2oz a day since he has been home. She was only hoping for a 30 gram increase. This means we are doing well with the breast feeding and I don't have to supplement with bottles. I hate bottles! I hate the work involved heating, defrosting, dating I hate them! I have also stopped pumping thank god. I hate pumping I hate pumping more than I hate the word hate.

Love... I love my new little boy. Today we had some guests in the morning Julia and Susan the Sholeh and Hugo (who just happened to be in town) Jen, Amy and Kate with her 4 kids. It was nice to show off my little man. Everyone wants people to ohhhh and ahhh over their baby and I got that today I am satisfied. 

I had a great day and Liam is now 4 lbs 2 oz! Yah to boob milk.

Day 9

Liam is home!!! It has gone well so far mainly because he sleeps for long 3 hr stretches. It is strange to have him home my motherly instincts have gone off the radar. I am now fully aware of his presence and his vulnerability I am wondering if I will be able to sleep tonight. I have him in a crib which is very different from the others but because he is so small and already used to sleeping alone I will give it a try.

Day 8

Liam is great he is gaining about an oz a day or 50 something grams. Which is super great. I requested that he comes home as soon as possible. The nurse thinks he is ready just small she will have a talk with the doctor and see what he says. She said not to get my hopes up. He really has no reason to be there so I am thinking of breaking him out if they don't agree. I wonder if I can do that???? I will need to investigate. I am burnt out from all the frickin' driving pumping feeding driving I am going mad I need to slow down so I can get my BP down. Anyways I thought I would give an update. We are all good.

1 week new

Today Liam is one week and today when I arrived at the hospital I was shocked to find him out of his isolette in a open crib. He still might go back if he can't maintain his temperature. But for now he stayed in it all day with not temperature problems. He also breast-fed 3 times taking a full feed in 10min!!!! The nurse said that if he can keep it up he will be home really really soon. I hope she is right and we only have good nurses from now on. I also made a formal complaint about the other nurses hopefully this will help other mothers. They seemed to be very receptive of my complaints.

I am sleepy now.... he gain 1oz yesterday which is also really good.

Day 6

Today was officially the crappiest day yet!

Please don't read unless you want to hear me whine. Liam is fine..... I just had a crap ass day.

Last night Liam was transfered to a closer hospital Burnaby its just a 5 min drive from my house! Well as I have learned in the last few weeks all nurses believe something different and in this case it was insanely different. As soon as I arrived she told me they might have to put a feeding tube in because he might not be able to bottle feed. I assured her that he was bottling fine and it shouldn't be a problem then she went off about how Childrens hospital over uses bottles and it exhausts the little guys and how breast feeding is not as hard as bottles (completely the opposite of all other opinions to date!) So I got her to promise to try really hard to not put a feeding tube in. I when home devastated...

This morning I had an even worse nurse who wouldn't help me do anything and was out right rude. I was in tears over and over again trying to deal with her. She said he only would take 25 mls / feed last night when yesterday at Childrens he was taking 50ml a feed a big difference. She also said if he wasn't taking at least 35 he would have to have a feeding tube. The worst part is she wouldn't listen or help me in any way. Until I pleaded with the other nurses in front of her to please switch finally one did! Then it came out they thought he was born at 32 weeks!!! WTF. She had a hard time believing me he was 34 weeks. But this nurse listened to me and helped me feed him effectively and gave me a clam feeling. So I left him in her care requesting neither of the previous nurses care for him. Tonight I called he had taken 35ml all day by bottle and at his last feed 45ml. There are more parts to the story but I am so tired I can't go into them all.

Some quick points -parking was $3/hr todays visit $15 We can't afford that daily. Thankfully when I was crying to the head nurse (another long story) she told me I could get a weeks pass for much cheeper even though mean nurse from last night said there was no discounts.
- They had no bottles to pump into (they supply these)
-The food is crap at this hospital
-no internet
-The stupid nurse closed the bottle to tight so I was feeding him for 10 min and he couldn't get anything out( I think she did it on purpose)
- I lost Keiran when I went to pick up Makayla from school and bawled my eyes out in front of a lot of parents. It was humiliating and scary.

OHHHHHH But Liam gained today 35 grams lol thats funny to get excited about.

Day 5 I think!

Back at the hospital.... I think this is how all my posts will start for the next week or two.

I talked with Liam's doctor today. Liam is doing awesome he is now up to 50ml per feed which is amazing for such a little guy. Yesterday he was doing 32 ml. I asked about when he might come home the doctor guessed 1-2 weeks. I thought Laim had to get to 5lbs before discharge because the car seat regulation is a min of 5lbs, but the doctor said he only had to get to 1800 grams which is just around 4lbs. The other factors are that he is feeding well and gaining weight and that he can maintain his own body temperature. So we are way closer than I thought. They don't want to lower the temperature to fast or he will use energy and weight so it is a gradual process. I am totally fine with this. He is a sleepy guy who is happy in his little warmer. He is super cute he almost never wakes up. He eats for a bit passes out eats a bit more poos and back to sleep for 4hrs.

Life is good the big kids are happy to have me home and I am happy to be done with bed rest. I love being able to make my own food or get my kids cereal in the morning.

Day 4

Today was a good day.

I had some good cries this morning maily thinking about my milk supply hoping it will not dry up. I just havn't had that super engorged feeling yet. But I got a super good pump in this afternoon 100ml! For me that is great. I think my milk is in.

I got dropped off at the hospital this afternoon after spending the morning with the kids at Grammmy and Papas which was full of Easter fun. The kids had a great time. Once here Liam was sleeping he is now feeding on demand which is great news. Funny enough at home this would mean nursing all the time but with a preemie it means he can eat as much as he wants then sleep for a long time ... 4hrs!!!! Wow! I hope he can keep that up. I got to change his diaper then try breastfeeding. Last time I tried to breastfeed he just bairley opened his mouth, I rubbed my nipple against his lips he just slept. Today I was adjusting him to put him on and he snatched my boob like a pro before I was ready. He nursed for 10min with a perfect latch chugging the whole time. This is a major development! This gives us a huge leg up in getting him home sooner. Ahhh now I can feel at peace my lack of forcing breastfeeding. I was a little scared this morning that my lack of trying was going to kick me in the butt later. Thankfully the little guy is a hungry one. I feel like all my decisions are working out. Now I will go home and have Eaaster dinner with my family and tuck my other kids into bed.

Liam

He is doing great he doesn't need extra oxygen or a feeding tube he drinks from a bottle and has been stable since the beginning. All the nurses keep mentioning he is a screamer but it is only his pitch that is making them say something it is very high and this is not due to being premature. They even write in his charts about how he screams! He also only cry's or screams as they would put it when he is being handled at diaper changes ect. He sleeps a good 3 hrs straight between feeds. This gives me comfort that he is happy and not irritated when I am gone.

There are lots of rules to the IR (intermediate care) and every nurse has a different set of them. It can be quite the learning curve. I have been taking a back seat roll which is a change for me. My last hospital dinner has arrived and I have to go feed Liam before the nurse does. I will talk more about the IR later.....I am going home. One Big Deep Breath!

Liam Robert Scott Hastings

3lbs 7oz or 1710 grams 17" long born at 9:27 on April 8, 2009 33 weeks 6days.

He is here....

Shivers I shivered for hours and hours. Back track a little remember the nurse at the beginning I asked Melissa at shift change if she could please get me a nurse like her and not like the intense voiced lady. She laughed she knew what I was talking about. So at 7am we got a nice girl Serena. She was in training but nice and sweet perfect. Evening 6pmish: Now we were getting to the point of Pitocin the drip. I was a little scared because I knew this meant I was going to start having pains which would mean I would have to push a baby out and I had a headache and I was strapped down with monitors ohhhh this was not going to be fun. OK Ready lets go!

So 7pm shift change again. We mention to Serina to get us a good nurse… not like the crazy voice lady I had made fun of earlier. She said the one I got is good…. She leaves guess who walks in Audrey. Ohhhh you are still here. Scott and Kate look at each other and try not to laugh then they realize my fears are real she is crazy annoying!!!! And the worst part she has to stay in the room because the drip has started this could be a painful long night! When she leaves we talk about how we can get rid of her I can’t figure out any way we are stuck. The contractions have now started they are mild like period cramps I can do this easily. They have already said because it is my 3rd birth and having the high blood pressure I can get an epidural any time. I am not ready for a tap in my back just yet.

Around 8pm my midwife Kat comes she has a chat and checks me I am fully effaced and 1 cm. She is going off shift and Janice is coming on. She says you won’t have this baby by 10pm so I am going to go I will let Janice know how you are doing. The contractions were mild lasting maybe 30sec all over the place 5min… 10 min. The funny thing is the contraction monitor won’t pick up my contractions. So I feel like I am faking it. Or they are not really strong enough to register which means I am going to be a huge wimp when the real ones come. I was wondering if this was going to go on all night. I would say just around 9ish The contractions started to come one on top of another just slamming into me I started to ask for the epidural then I started to demand it! The OB , Dr. Reimer, came in she checked me I was 2cm she decided to break my water I said noooooo!. I knew it would get worse if she did. She breaks it. Then I am begging will all my worth to please get the epi now right now!!!! She checks me again 5 min later I am 5cm she leaves the room I am happy she is finally getting me the epi but then I feel that heavy feeling like the baby is coming. I tell nurse Audrey she said no not yet then I said I have to pushhhh Audrey said don’t not yet you are not dilated. I said I can’t stop I have to pooo…. fine I will poo on the bed! And out came the little man … no doctor, no pediatrician just a nurse Kate and Scott…. 9:27 from 2cm to out on the table in 30min! I guess my body saved its own life. One of the side effects from pre-e is placenta abruption where the placenta comes away from the wall which is what happened they realized when she broke my water and blood gushed out so when she left she was going to book an OR for an emergency c-section…. but my cervix decided it would open the flood gates. Scott went out to tell the doctor I was pushing he was being polite excuse me doctor then he heard the nurse on the intercom ran back in the room just in time to see Liam emerge. He was brought onto my yummy rubbed with towels and screamed right away. The pediatrician checked him and Scott got to hold him for a bit before they brought him into the intermediate care.

The contraction monitor never did pick up my contractions… Nurse Audrey ended up being perfect at catching our baby…. Scott describes it as my other labours in super fast forward.

I has to stay in labour and delivery for 24 hrs because I was on the Magnesium Sulfate and the risk of having seziers is really high 24hrs after a pre-e birth. It was great listening to woman have babies while laying recover from you own. Serina became my nurse again at 7am. She quickly apologized she said she realized as soon as she passed the file to Audrey what I was talking about but at that point it was to late she even asked the charge nurse to change it but she said it couldn’t be changed.

Email from Kate describing the birth: he was born after around 2 hours of real labour and approximately 1 minute of pushing. Poor Morag started regular contractions at 7:30 and by 8:30 she was only at 1 cm and the contractions were constant and didn’t seem to have much time between them. When the OB came in at 9, Morag was begging for an epidural and beside herself, when the OB checked she was at 2.5 cm, then she quickly broke Morag’s water which was bloody and indicated a placental abruption. The OB and nurse were then worried, but poor Morag wasn’t able to concentrate on anything but her crazy contractions. She gave Morag another internal around 5 minutes after the first one she had given and found that she was at 5cm. So now the OB is running out of the room to make a phone call, and Morag starts pushing (against the advice of everyone in the room) and by the time Scott gets back in the room from yelling at the OB to come back a wee skinny blue crying thing was on Morag’s tummy. It was thrilling and awesome and he was perfect just small. No name from when I left last night. I’m sure we’ll find out soon. Oh and Morag needs food for her freezer!

-Kate

It all begins

The nurse comes and takes me into this room... the room I will deliver my son in. A room where I will have to experience pain and lots of it and I know I have done it twice before I am not going into this blind. I am not ready! I want to run away! Pregnancy is 40 weeks so you can get huge and uncomfortable which gives you reason to go through labour you want the baby out!! I am not there I am far from there.

This nurse is unexplainable she has the most intense nasal voice and she talks in circles... Hiiiii I am Audrey I had preeeeeclampsia with my second let me tell you all about it...... I was scared how could I go 12 hrs with this woman! Luckily she was just setting me up and going of shift. THANK GOD!!!! Now this room was intense not like my home birth lots of machines and birthing stuff. I also wasn't in labour so I could see everything and cared. I have been on hospital tours where they show you the nice rooms that look like hotels... this was not it this was better then the OR but still scary. We get the new nurse and her nurse in training “Shizer” and Melissa. Yes the labour and delivery nurse named Shizer!

Now comes in the intern. I think he was 20 OK I guess 26 or something. A guy you would see at a bar picking up the ladies on any given Friday night. I ask if they can just give me 24 hrs. He pulls out the big guns…. “some woman come in with BP 150/90 and baby is dead… some come in with 170/110 baby is fine” You may start having seizers or brain swelling…… OK fine you got me I will submit. Now this means he is going to give me an internal WHAT!!!!! I close my eyes while the 26year old proceeds to give me the Prostaglandin Gels. I will now get these 3 times spaced about 6 hrs apart. Early in the morning nicely asleep a woman doctor comes in and violates me giving me the worst internal ever…grrrr I was mad. 2 dose done. I decided as I was woken every hour for BP readings I would ask Kate if she wanted to join us. I call her in the AM.
Here I am hooked up ! I have 2 belts recoding fetal heart rate and contractions, a ET monitor stuck to my finger and an IV of Magnesium Sulfate in my arm. This is to stop me from seizers. Nice. Every time I have to pee I have to call the nurse so I can get unhooked. This sucks oh and I have a headache.

April 7, 2009

33 weeks 5 days: I am at home and I can see a trend with my BP it is going up slowly. The nurse is also aware so she has ordered more tests. More peeing in a bucket for 24 hrs fun!!! I am now having to work to get the results I want because I know as soon as it is 150/100 I am back in the hospital. I love my kids I don’t want to go… It is now taking me 3 or 4 times to get it under 150/100 and this is after laying in bed all day! The next day the nurse comes takes one look at me and gives me the pitty face…. She knows I have to go back. So I pack my bag and head out to the hospital to hopefully just get some BP medication and go home.

2pm Jessy drives me to the hospital and hangs out for a bit. I have been here before now and I know everything takes forever! We chill. She has to leave to go to work but I am fine I know they will just admit me soon. My doctor shows up I get a BP reading of 169/110 hmmmmm that sucks. He jokingly turns off the machine and says lets pretend we didn’t see that! Then again he checks it in 10 min same results. I am laying there and I see the lights flash. It happens 3 more times. I remember this is one of the symptoms. So I decide to tell the Dr. a few minutes later Dr. Rosengaden is sitting beside me and I see another flash I tell him he laughs he saw it to. The florescent lights in admitting were flicking. Ahhh it wasn’t me. They have now gotten my test results from the day before back and all the results from that day. Dr. Rosengarden comes in and says well I guess you are going to be a mommy…. I cry.

It is about 7pm I call home to let Scott know they will start induction and he will have to cancel work. He was floored “tonight a baby what !” We decided he would stay home and help get the kids to bed then come up later. Our other kids were starting to deteriorate with me on bedrest and so many caregivers. Glenda was there now to stay so I knew it would be all be OK.

Letter to my friends

Here is an email I sent to all my fiends.

Hello Friends

I thought I would send out one big email to let everyone know what is happening at once.

I have been diagnosed with preeclampsia which is basically high blood pressure in pregnancy. It means that I have to be on full bed rest until the baby comes so I can keep my blood pressure down and the baby healthy. It also means that to get rid of it I have to have the baby. So chances are this baby will be coming a little early. I am now 32 weeks and they gave me a steroid shot for the babies lungs just incase. Hopefully I can keep my BP down and keep baby in long enough that it can developed more. But if it was delivered as of today it would probably be fine it would just need to be in the NICU for awhile. They also said unless I have a severe attack and the baby is in danger I should be able to just be induced not go straight to C-section. Lets cross our fingers for this.

They are having a hard time diagnosing it because I don't meet the "criteria" for it but I have all the symptoms. I think the criteria is silly anyways!

Things like:

You will only get it in your first pregnancy then you could get it in subsequent pregnancies and if you do get it, like me only in your third pregnancy, then it must be a different father. Last time I checked you couldn't get pregnant from a toilet seat.

Age over 35... Well I am the ripe old age of 31!

Obese... I have gained the least amount of all my pregnancies.

Multiple pregnancy... Well I have had 5 ultrasounds to date and it seems like there is only one in there!!! FYI We checked again last night it is still a boy he made the doctor blush I think he is well endowed.

Over 37 weeks I am 32 weeks 2 days. My due date is May 21 incase you were wondering.

Gestational diabetes- nope

History of certain conditions. Having certain conditions before you become pregnant — such as chronic high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney disease or lupus — nope none nadda.

I am in the hospital for the weekend just so they can monitor me and give me all the tests and see all the specialized doctors. Scott is with the kids and I am totally fine. I should be out by Sunday the home on bedrest. The good news is my BP is down today :) They said I should rest and not have visitors but email is great. I have my laptop and wireless internet ahhhhhh I love the new age. I am also in the best hospital in BC with midwives, OB's and doctors all fussing over me. Lastly for any technical people reading my blood work is great so my liver function is good and I don't have HELLPS. (just incase this worried you)

Here is a link for more info about preeclampsia: http://www.babycenter.com/0_preeclampsia_257.bc

I was thinking we should find a name soon. Any suggestions are welcome! Since this kid seems to like to change all the rules and be in that 1% chance maybe we could find a name that means 1%.

30 weeks Pregnant: Preeclampsia

30 weeks I went to my midwives she asked if my blood pressure had been high with my other pregnancies. I said no I was probably just a little run down. A few days later I noticed a mild swelling in my feet hands and face. I felt claustrophobic with the tightening. Then we went on our planed trip to Demain’s 8 hr drive each way when I got home I called the midwives to ask about the swelling. They said to not worry because they had done some blood work and I looked fine. I started to feel really crappy so I went to Safeway and checked my BP it was 140/90 something. So I called and asked that they bump my next appointment up a week, which was the next morning. At that appointment they found protein in my urine which is another sign of preeclampsia. So I had to do more blood work and a 24 hr pee test as well as go on “modified bedrest” taking it easy. I started to do some research and realized I had all the markers for pre-e and there was no other thing it could be.

When I dropped off my 24 pee test they said the results wouldn’t be back until after the weekend it was Wednesday! So the next morning I called the midwives because I felt concerned about having to be aware of the baby’s movements. She humored me and I met her at the hospital had fetal monitoring. We talked and I became relieved that the baby would be fine and my own motherly instincts would kick in if the baby was destressed.

32 weeks:The next afternoon I was called into admitting again because my 24 hr urine came back (early) and it had abnormal results. Now I must meet an OB and be under his care. Dr. Rosengarden the soap opera doctor. This time when I came to admitting my BP was up to 150/90 so they decided to admit me so I could do some further in hospital testing. I also get the steroid shot for the babies lungs just in case he comes early. I lay in hospital all weekend feeling fine and healthy with test after test after test being done. I met a lot of doctors and they all said something different about the disease. Then just as I was getting out on Monday my BP went up again so they kept me another day. When my doctor came the next morning I was sent home and happy. But now I was on complete bedrest with the Anti Partum Home Care Program. (which is amazing btw) The nurses give you a bp cuff and all the testing equipment and you do the testing at home. They call every day and check the results and come every second day to do fetal monitoring. I am happy to home.

30 weeks

Dear Diary

So here I am 36 hrs after the birth of my 3rd child realizing I need to process these thoughts. I probably won't have time to continue with the blog but for now I can share my crazy adventure with my close friends and release all at the same time.....

Ready to get personal!!

So here I lay in my hospital bed realizing I have given birth a little early, now realizing I what I am going to miss out on. I know I still get a lot a healthy baby who will be home soon but I need to explore these emotions so I can go on being a strong mama. 

I wake up at 4am to pee and pump hhmmmm sounds like fun! The nurse comes in to check my BP and says oh you go back to bed you don't need to pump. The last time was at 11pm so I think I should, sometimes I wonder who these ladies are. So I take myself out into the quiet halls to stalk a pump, we have to share with other mamas on the floor. I walk around the ward not one to be seen. I go back to my room and realize I want to get some milk for my baby so I find my nurse and ask if she knows where one is. ..... Yes! I am pumping and reading about babies on the internet  which helps distract my mind from the task at hand which helps my milk or colostrum flow. I am told to only to pump 5 min on each side twice but decide the milk is starting so I go for almost 45. If I had baby at home I probably would have been up doing that a few times. I got half a bottle today my baby will get more milk than formula!!!! I am so happy.

After this adventure I decide I will get some rest. I lay here in bed realizing I will never have the newborn honeymoon. I won't get to lay sleepless staring at my new baby with amazement. I just realized what I was going to miss out on. I wonder if by the time Liam comes home I will be back to my regular energy levels and find it hard to slow down and enjoy. The honeymoon is the best part how will I get it back. 

I realize I can go down and feed him.... oh crap as I lay here in bed mourning the loss of bonding I miss the scheduled feed by 5 minutes. I call down they say the feed is just done but I can come down for the 8 o'clock feed. 

5:10 am I am sad I can't sleep so I decide to share my adventure with you.